This must be the place.
This. Must. Be. The. Place.
These 5 simple words on my locker keyring, surrounded by the cluttered keys that represent my busy life, never fail to make me smile. Whenever I reach for them, which is multiple times a day, I pause and remind myself with a quiet smile, “Yep, this MUST be the place”. The place I am meant to be...to learn what I am open enough to learn. This simple keyring serves as a reminder to stay in the moment and BE PRESENT to absorb all it has to offer.
The NOW is all we really have. We all know this. Yet, practicing mindfulness is not as clear nor as easy to do. We can so quickly sacrifice the simple pleasures of the moment to the ruminations of our pasts or to the worries of our futures despite knowing that the past cannot be changed and the future cannot be predicted with complete accuracy.
So how do we, in this rapidly-paced modern life, practice the skill of SLOW awareness or of being fully & completely PRESENT from moment to moment?
Being mindful is not an easy thing to cultivate as our thoughts are constantly floating (or buzzing) in and out of our minds. This is, in fact, exactly what the mind is built to do. To buzz, to worry, to analyze, to plan, to adapt, to regret…It’s precisely how we survived as a species for as long as we have. However, we’ve reached a stage in our evolutionary journey where we need to find a balance between these adaptive modes of thinking and more quiet, nourishing practice that heals the mind (& by connection, the body). We know that when we move from mentally active states (act/react mode) towards stillness and mental calm (rest/digest mode), the body's neurological system heals and grows to form new & improved pathways that hijack those old, stress responses. In other words, the more you incorporate nourishing and mindful practices into your routine, the more your body is inclined to rewire itself to be calmer, more relaxed and healthier. It’s self-fulfilling. Think of your own mindfulness practice as something that doesn’t have to be perfect. It is constantly evolving and changing, as you are. It is a journey of regular practice, not a destination to focus on reaching. Each breath, each moment you remember your intention to become more present is a chance to practice awareness and move a little farther along your path.
I’d like to share a few of the things that I have learned over the years to help you along your own journey as they have helped me.
Use your senses to help you find awareness in the present moment. What are you feeling? Is the ground beneath you hard or soft? Is the sweater along your arm textured or smooth? What is your jaw feeling like? Is it clenched or relaxed? The area around your eyes and brow? Are you hungry? What do you smell when you enter a new room? What can you hear that is the farthest away from you? What is the closest? What do you see that makes you smile? Your senses are the gateway to your mind, use them to engage your mind in a specific and controlled way. Another important tool for your mindful journey is the gift of kindness. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you know how right now. You also deserve to be happy. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to be at peace. It is my belief that as we cultivate more inner calm & a sense of deep appreciation, it radiates outward to change the lives of those we love (our friends and family) and eventually, benefits the greater world that we are ALL a part of.
When you remember, smile often. Smile to yourself and think, “This must be the place”. You belong here. You are meant to be here & now so, what will you learn while you are here?
Understand that you don’t have to have all of the answers now.
Set an intention or hope for yourself. In Yogic Philosophy the Sanskrit term Sankalpa is such an intention. San means “to become one with” and Kalpa means “time” and “promise”. To become one with your true intention for yourSelf. A resolve. A hope. A desire. Set one for yourself. Just know that as you grow and evolve, you can change it at any point to reflect your new level of awareness. Use your Sankalpa when you remember to take a mindful breath throughout the day.
You could also write a short list of tools/ideas/hopes you want to use throughout the day and keep it close to you, in your wallet or on a small piece of paper in your car or on your fridge or phone. Anywhere that you might see it throughout your busy day. Drink water. Read something inspiring. Take a short walk. Savour your tea. Take a deep diaphragmatic breath. Be kind to yourself. Light a candle. Meditate for 2 minutes. Pay attention to the sky. Watch an insect in the garden for a moment. Notice the textures that your body is in contact with. Repeat your Sankalpa with three deep breaths. Apply some lotion on your hands and close your eyes while you rub it on your skin. Whatever your list looks like doesn't matter, it is just there to bring your attention to what you hope to do for yourself throughout the day. Just the simple act of writing it down and thinking about it…accomplishes what you need it to. Don’t feel obliged to remember to read it throughout the day. There is no destination remember? Simply the practice…
Remember to nourish your body just as much as your mind. Eat well. Eat simply and eat mindfully, savouring each bite with appreciation and breath.
Move your body every chance you get. We are built to move. Take a walk. Stretch on the living room floor. Dance. Take a yoga class. Choose the stairs. Squat down to talk to a child or dog. Choose a wooden spoon over an electric mixer. Balance on one foot while brushing your teeth. Whatever you think you need to do. Your body (especially your joints, your fascia, your muscles, your vagus nerve) and your mental health will feel the effects of this mindful movement.
Practice Gratitude. We tend to focus ahead on what we want but neglect what we already have. Be thankful for who you are. Your health. Safety. Your skills. Your space. Your journey. Your friends. Your loved ones. Your pets. Nature. Be thankful for how far you have come in this journey of your life. It doesn’t have to be these big things either. Be thankful when a parking spot opens up right where you want it to. Gratitude when you go to empty the dishwasher but someone did it before you. I always feel grateful for the first bite of hot, homemade popcorn. I savour the warmth of my dog against my leg. The more you practice appreciation, the more it becomes a part of you.
Breathe deeply regularly. Breath is everything. It signals the brain to release chemicals, both the active and the relaxing ones. The deeper you exhale, the more endorphins are released, and the deeper you relax. (Hopper SI, Murray SL, Ferrara LR, Singleton JK. Effectiveness of diaphragmatic breathing for reducing physiological and psychological stress in adults: a quantitative systematic review. JBI Database System Rev Implement Rep. 2019 Sep;17(9):1855-1876. doi: 10.11124/JBISRIR-2017-003848. PMID: 31436595.) Watch a YouTube video on Pranayama or Diaphragmatic Breathing. Sneak it in wherever and whenever you can throughout your day. The most effective version of this is to incorporate a mindfulness meditation practice (even 2 minutes) into your daily routine. Or perhaps one that uses Breath-Focus. Maybe carve out the first few minutes after you wake in the morning for this? Or a minute or two in the shower? Whenever you have your coffee or lunch? I sneak a meditation in right after I get ready for the day and also, right before I fall asleep for the night. Initially, I used an app to help me get into the ritual. Now, Meditation is a part of my regular routine. I still try different guided meditations all the time on social media as well as in person. I like trying out different techniques as it also keeps me learning.
Finally, always allow yourself U-turns. Life isn’t perfect. We are not perfect. We are just trying to find the best way of living that we can, with the resources that we have. If you don’t practice regularly, don’t worry. You have already set the intention. This is the most important thing. Your practice will come. Each day brings us a new opportunity to practice mindful awareness. Each moment, each breath is a new chance to reset and to move ourselves in the right direction.
I hope you find something you can use here that will help you as you work towards your (large & small) goals. We are all in this together. Always remember - wherever you are - this must be the place.
Love & Light, Rosh
